for ryan / adam

every time you have a thought / phantom something
you will erupt into / crab republican
what would you call it / a cheeseburger says what
where did you park / not a funny joke
clumps or a wad / pig acronyms
an idea for a restaurant / job dissatisfaction
the best food / bland chutney

here is my letter to the armmy
i am humiliated by this room
here is this dandelion impossibility
here is a very small cat
she is small-boned, not just a kitten
i am humiliated by the band-aid trash
in my room
did you see what my dad drew
i am so embarrassed about my room


i know, that's, like, so boring to blog about

well you know what? i'm boring. true. or bored. what's the difference.

the pasty deliverance-like underbelly

somebody must have crashed into my car yesterday and left--the entire driver's side back door is smashed in. there were already massive dents in my car and i only have liability insurance, but it's just the principle. like, they had to have hit it really hard in broad daylight yesterday, backed up in order to correctly make the turn, seen what they did, and left. it's actually more violating than coming outside to find your windows smashed in.


ain't nobody want no shit and AIDS and shit up in they water, fuck that--what? fuck that, shit's fucked up. did he die? he fell down that chute? what,

that's what the water people are saying in front of our house. i think maybe they are at a standstill. i shall transcribe.

"they got these trees and shit, and this man's arm start lookin' like snakeskin--that shit don't look good. it's all that bacteria, shit, this lady walked out in her bare feet, man, she got some a that shit on her toe, man, that shit turn black. wherever that shit get on you. erything grow abnormal."

"oh my goodness!"

"forty feet of shit water."

i want them to come more often.

google image search: "forty feet of shit water"

i mean, why she gotta be so elitist. shit. shit's troubling.



u dyxjws yo,

(that's 'i fucked up' with home row shifted one key over)

but i did, anyway. i didn't get my tetris on last night and as a result i forgot to go to one work and went to the other instead.

admission of joy:


was that really the last thing i posted?

sorry ryan. i've been academic, which i wasn't for a while and so am reaping the consequences. one consequence is thinking about megaloblasts in a marrow biopsy. but then i think about tuna steak sandwiches and everything comes back to normal.

i would like to report relatively very little anxiety since my chicago trip. let's get personal at times-ballisms. major agoraphobia prior, somewhat less than proportionate euphoria afterward, but let's not look euphoria in the horse, shall we.

i have to go to bed, so here's from now:

begin by you must
predilection for leafy
pastiches of divinity
today stuff today
i had a near-life
i was in the car
this is my cartoon
look at my cat

afj daoifuduawerua09rufajsfnzdvkz;

my dad

ps i wish anyone reading this could hear my sister and her bf warming up on their trumpets right now. there's weird dissonance about it because it sounds like any night at a conservatory but it's our house instead, so there is also TV noise and pet sounds (not beach boys). they are on different floors and they both have mutes in their trumpets, so are not listening to each other at all.


on the occasion of a beautiful line in a letter from senator dodd's father to his mother during the nuremburg trials

back pressure
[vessel of the vessels]
valves in the veins
and resistance diagrams
as you can see from
this picture,
sat down taken a tums
and died

the buffy coat

<3 anatomy and physiology despite great ambivalence worsened by travel <3


well then i guess i'll just continue on with it

look, photographs in the bender style (with some edited out per the sirois public domain requests of 2007).


c'mon feel the illinoise!

well, we're here, in chicago. look:

ryan is much more interesting to vicarious with, so i will just highlight:

1. justin, man in yellow shirt and i all have keys to same room. man walks in coincidentally during justin pants switch.
2. i was just about to have andrew bird'sbaby when i caught a collapsing man.
3. xanax for plane ride = best hand-held tetris score everEVER. xanax eases transition and delays agoraphobic tendencies for a good 24 hours. perhaps you thought tetris was a bygone--rest assured my bedtime routine is steadier than my noncommittal attitude.
4. this is a really great town. today flea market, bikes, honky tonk, the world, homework.


that was a pretty bad poem

but she knows what i mean.

(toothpaste for dinner)

eh huh for c.e.

do you pose in public
does it cowboy to standing
middle of the night in some
mapped study; some poignant
hospitalization of cleanliness
[do the thing]
one beautiful mimic to prove
muscle strung bone-like above
rake the sight to human

[time like poem; time going]

[A: camera]
[B: annhilation]
[C: my mother]
[D: let's be reasonable]

breath flap fish-like
chest with frame
rakes disorient
scrape your bird toward
middle of chest one
beautiful mimic for the hole
of it one
proof flashing through
the screen we
chisel to choose
[its contents]



spiral perm noted