Wednesday

i said this in therapy

"i'm gonna meditate, goddammit!"

(also "i'm gonna therapy this shit outta this!" but that was with the aid/humor of the therapist).

if anyone would like to be in on the design of my new active and anxiety-free identity, please leave suggestions in the comments box. we appreciate your participation, and you could win a free lunch.

13 comments:

Ian Keenan said...

I’ll just pretend that your anxiety is a literary contrivance, which may not help. I can’t do it, anyway. You’re so convincing. Alienation too. + you don’t project anxiety and alienation in the way you write which makes it worse. Just thought I’d help.

bender said...

so ian's recommendation is that he will pretend for me, so that i don't have to do it anymore. that is my new identity. comes with a cape--i'll dig out my invisible cloak of potential that i auctioned to maureen at the burlesque reading long ago. other suggestions still welcome.

Ian Keenan said...

don't let Maureen find out you're reusing the cloak

bender said...

oh god. i forgot to think about that.

Reen said...

BEEEENNNNNDDDEEERRR!!!

Adam R. said...

You can have my smoking habit. I just realized that I gave it UP on Monday, but I should have given it AWAY. To you.

bender said...

awesome!! so now my new identity is that i smoke while ian thinks of me differently. this is going better than i ever expected.

cathye said...

last week my colleague did reiki on me. if that's even how you say it--reiki to me? reiki'd me? in-credible. i alternately sobbed, felt like a hot air balloon, breathed really hard, and had tingling pressure on my head when she wasn't even touching me. she also gave me some yogic positions to do to open up my chakra that is blocked. also wine in the evening and riding my bike help with the anxiety. and little kids and babies that AREN'T MINE for some reason help.

bender said...

reiki'd me is the winner. i've actually heard of similar experiences from some other friends...perhaps i will give this a try. i've only ever had one official massage and it was transcendental, truly--an old russian man, a thunderstorm, a discussion of painting--i never went back because i wanted to preserve it. but i can go somewhere else for reiki. right up the street.

i should mention, in case anyone is reading this and/or is interested, that i'm not actually anxious these days, just anxious about being anxious.

Ryan W. said...

wow, that is the most information I've ever seen about cathy in such a short span. the chakra is ajar.

bender said...

so, to recap the new identity that some of you may witness this weekend:

i smoke cigarettes while:

1. ian thinks of me differently
2. i wear a cape clone
3. cathy weeps
4. ryan thinks of cathy differently

this is a great identity. it is filled with the people who i know more--and sometimes exclusively--through blogging, so there's no real liability, and yet in the blogosphere i can keep up my shiny new avatar while falling apart in "real life."

Ryan W. said...

you should change your avatar. I don't think the robot identity is working for you. maybe somebody already said that.

bender said...

i hope you're not referencing my profile image as a "robot." sometime when i'm feeling really brave i'll blog about my relationship to TRON, but until then, suffice it to say that it is NOT a robot.