Sunday

my dad, bill

well. there was a party. and while it was correctly observed that i do not really get drunk, it was also correctly observed that i continue drinking regardless. today it was observed that the aftereffects continue to be--how to say in your language--"piss-poor" in the le emotional scheme grande. so next time i drink for hours on end, someone say, "you are dumb," and use my full name. when i say, "but i'm not drunk!" make me say something humiliating--to you, me, or a third party.

then i stayed in adam and kat's well-decorated apartment. kat is very funny. when she met adam's ex-girlfriend she (kat) had an entire plate of deviled eggs in her mouth and paprika in her fingernails. last time kat fed a seagull an alka-seltzer tab, her entire family's stomach exploded. two out of five sentences in this paragraph are true.

then m and manya fed me banana soup in alexandria, while hero watered her little brother. we talked about buttonless pants and other life events.

then i got discombobulated driving home and then stuck in traffic on the highway. i thought i might die of my dreamstate.

then i met my dad at the baseball game, and it was one hundred degrees. i drank a li'l hug and observed no children with leukemia. when everyone was booing this one pitcher named danny, my dad yelled, "c'mon danny!" i think he would not have yelled something loudly at a baseball game until the last couple of years. turns out most catchers wear pads under their butts, but not all umpires touch the catchers' backs very gently in a way that makes one think of gardening, baby birds, or byzantine saints. or porn. who knew?!

now i will try to decide whether i should eat a banana or take a nap, or whether i should post such a journal thing on my emo log. then i will realize that if i tried to be witty right now i would faint onto piles of cats.

bill bender, but not my bill bender, but strangely appropriate to larger cowboy scheme grandes:

2 comments:

bender said...

oh--i learned how to stand and stare at a scooter with two other standers and beer.

Ryan W. said...

you posted it. it was newsy. it was different than normal. it had chronology. you should do that or not according to your preferences.