annotated artifacts from the bender museum

i have returned from the mountains. lo, the mountains said the days would be beautiful, and they were, and the mountains said it was ok to talk about the weather, and i did.

my dad dragged out two boxes of stuff from when i was little. here are some highlights.

-star of the week club in 4th grade. adjectives listed by classmates/# times adjective appears:
funny: 7
very funny: 1
polite: 4
likes blue: 1
same interest in music: 1
nice: 5
smart: 2
friendly: 6
very friendly: 2
cuddly: 1
cute: 5
considerate: 1 *this was by a girl who showed me on the bus the way she would empty her heart medicine out of its capsule in the morning, so that she didn't have to take it--she put the actual medicine behind the toilet in her house and only swallowed the capsule in front of her mom. i tried to google her but "julia" only returns wikipedia and movies.
friends forever, nothing can break us apart: 1

-Dear Ms. Bender,

Your letter of June 12, 1991 was forwarded to us from the Game and Fresh Water Fish Commission along with the brochures you designed on the manatee. Your brochures are very informative...

-This year I am 11. I have 2 favorite teachers. Mr. Hill is one of them. He is my math teacher. He is really funny. Sometimes he is rude kind of. Like he wags his behind at our class. But he's really nice. Ms. Whorton is my English teacher. She is O.K., but she acts like we're 20 year olds. Ms. Castle is my science teacher. She's kind of smark-alecky in my opionion. She acts like she's so smart and we're not. Ms. Duke is my social studies teacher. she must use 500 tons of hair spray in the morning. Mr. Apple is my band teacher. He is 29 and already has grey hair. Mr. Ecker is prejudice to girls. He only passes to boys. He things all girls like is gymnastics and the mall and the phone. Well he's wrong.

-LAUREN/RYAN'S MADE UP WORDS (ryan is my brother) ("putt' was my family's word for gas)
A. Actriputt
B. Barnoputt
C. Citypafiss
D. Dimpletox
E. Eeuspeeus
F. Furmolinopee
G. Gertiusputt
H. Hexoctipecan
I. Icgutputt
J. Jumbobuns
K. Kirputt
L. Lencocospiner
M. Metrotrees
N. Nextoputt
O. Opeeun
P. Punkerplunker
Q. Quakersmaker
R. Rumpleputt
S. Shmitterlitter
T. Tuttleputt
U. Upee
V. Ventleputt
W. Weeneepee
X. Xymolypercople
Y. Yukepeuk
Z. Zingieputts


bender said...

"softball was fun but you are much better as a friend"

kevin.thurston said...

its like falling in love with you all over again

bender said...

get your scraggly ass down her and buy us a chicken box

kevin.thurston said...

or 8!

kevin.thurston said...

wait, you wouldnt be home to share them

bender said...

you'd have to come with me to dundalk--can you think of anything more apropo?