Monday

what i imagine some people are doing tonight

justin is at home playing video games. the one with the shoot-'em-up head blow-offs. bassie is under the side table on his sheep bed, eyes darting from one nothing in particular to another. justin isn't looking at bassie but knows where he is in the room at all times. the video game is turned up really loud. once there was a hailstorm at justin's house and it felt apocalyptic. it was gone as quickly as it came. justin will be in bed in about 45 minutes and might have some goopy candy first. today he joked about masturbating in a bathroom stall but instead did it at home in his office. there was a copy of pynchon on the desk and a small black notebook but neither of these had anything to do with it. it took about 2:32.

kevin is smoking a cigarette on the sofa. it's like a loveseat. he's watching TV but there is a copy of chris' and buck's book in his lap. he's flipping through the channels and his hand is shaking a little bit. the ashtray is black and there are two butts in it. he's thinking about rolling one and listening to the apples in stereo before bed. he will probably be in bed around 11:30. WAIT! no. kevin is watching the sabres game! he's at someone's house. his two weird friends in that one photo booth photo. they're a little bit tipsy. kevin's drinking yuengling. he's doing an impression of someone obnoxious and his knees are jutting out wide apart. today at work he threw away two post-it notes worth of work. he went on a date a couple nights ago but he didn't judge her. they messed around. why not? luckily that blog post involving brushing his glans with a cigarette was, although true, more of a joke than something truly injurious. today kevin ate some kind of wrap but tonight he's eating pizza.

adam is at home with kat in their new apartment. there are maybe three boxes left to unpack. it's weird because although she was gone, it feels like before now that she's back. there's a potted plant in the corner but it's kind of brown. they're eating some kind of stir-fry and they just took a bath. the books are on the stereo. the lighting isn't that great--the kitchen light is on but it's kind of yellow and in the winter will be a lot more depressing than it is right now. today adam had meetings, including one at lunch, but it was with jgp and jon lee and they joked around a lot about something to do with specific types of anime (i didn't get it). adam will probably be in bed with kat around 12:30 but they'll have sex until 1:12 or so.

ryan is eating a snack. he's trying not to sit back down at the computer but doesn't really have anything else to do, so he does. then he gets back up because he's listening to peter gabriel but is so sick of it. so he puts on iron and wine instead, even though he's kind of sick of that too. now he's sitting on the couch and turns the TV on. ryan has cable. he switches to the animal planet because he sees an image of a praying mantis and they are so beautiful and weird. it's a show about the world's most extreme maters. i saw a female praying mantis eat the head of a male on my brother's window screen when i was about four, and my dad was there. ryan's first animal memory has to do with a frog--a toad, to be exact. he's preturbed about his day yesterday and worried about sleeping tonight, although really he's been sleeping fine, and when he gets in bed around 1am will fall asleep within 4 minutes. his last falling-asleep image will have both a dragonfly and a room-sized computer in it, and someone who's supposed to be an old girlfriend but looks more like this other woman from the news.

molly is in bed chewing on her springy, rubber chewy thing and she has a green wooden peg in her hand. she's drifting off; she just had a little seizure but no one knew about it (not even her). today she ate half of her french toast at school and swung on the swingset for about 2.5 hours tonight. she's a little stressed out because her parents put a clear plastic shelf over the VCR and DVD player so she couldn't push all the buttons until they break any more. today she really liked that song on her tape player that goes, "cousins, cousins, here come the boys, bedlam, mayhem, noise noise noise."

my parents are getting ready for bed. my dad is already in bed. his hands are behind his head and the covers are pulled up over his chin. he's rubbing his feet together and it sounds so crusty. my mom is in the bathroom clearing her throat and running the water. her new tooth thing feels strange in her mouth. the replacement tooth will happen next week. she's wearing pajamas that are pink and thin; a tank top and some pants that look like you could wear them during the day. she flushes the toilet and walks out into the pitch-dark room with so much more confidence than i could ever muster because her rods and cones adjust really fast. my dad is already snoring.

i'm procrastinating studying for my final in the morning because i think i'm pretty great and don't have to really study, or because, almost unbeknownst to myself, i am sabotaging my plan for nursing school because i feel like it wasn't my idea, or wasn't a fully-formed idea. then i remember that i'm never sure of myself and never commit to any idea, or un-commit later. but i'm not really sabotaging it. so there. i imagine that i am imagining i'm in the beach shack i always imagine, which has something to do with strange death or calm. waving beach grasses, gray cloudy sky, can't tell the time of day. waiting for someone to come home. pensive but not good or bad. this sounds so generic but it's really a place i think about, i swear, which i've not invented but also never visited. it has to do with the way i will feel when i find them again.

8 comments:

bender said...

kevin responds and validates my sweet telepathy:

kevin is smoking a cigarette on the sofa.
maybe
it's like a loveseat.
its a futon
he's watching TV but there is a copy of chris' and buck's book in his lap.
hannah weiner
he's flipping through the channels and his hand is shaking a little bit.
shaky head
the ashtray is black and there are two butts in it.
black on the inside
he's thinking about rolling one and listening to the apples in stereo before bed.
no apples before bed
he will probably be in bed around 11:30.
a.mean, sister
WAIT! no. kevin is watching the sabres game!
how true!
he's at someone's house.
my urban cottage
his two weird friends in that one photo booth photo.
who dat
they're a little bit tipsy.
just stoned
kevin's drinking yuengling.
copious amounts of water
he's doing an impression of someone obnoxious and his knees are jutting out wide apart.
guests were mean, angry at sabres, laughing at the no one listening
today at work he threw away two post-it notes worth of work.
hmmm
he went on a date a couple nights ago but he didn't judge her. they messed around. why not?
aint no body humping around
luckily that blog post involving brushing his glans with a cigarette was, although true, more of a joke than something truly injurious.
however, a mark, faint, is visible
today kevin ate some kind of wrap but tonight he's eating pizza.
people were over

bender said...

kevin's night without my telepathic interference:

maybe
its a futon
hannah weiner
shaky head
black on the inside
no apples before bed
a.mean, sister
how true!
my urban cottage
who dat
just stoned
copious amounts of water
guests were mean, angry at sabres, laughing at the no one listening
hmmm
aint no body humping around
people were over

Ryan W. said...

this is fun. you should do this every day, I'm not kidding. your entire blog (almost) should be about telling people what their lives are. I feel so liberated, like I don't have to have a life now. really. here's what you wrote with comments in brackets... the comments are not about whether it's literally true but whether you've accurately and disturbingly described my life:

ryan is eating a snack. [true!] he's trying not to sit back down at the computer but doesn't really have anything else to do, so he does. [yes!!!!] then he gets back up because he's listening to peter gabriel [no] but is so sick of it. [yes] so he puts on iron and wine instead, [yes] even though he's kind of sick of that too [sort of]. now he's sitting on the couch and turns the TV on [absosmurfly]. ryan has cable [not even close]. he switches to the animal planet [in spirit] because he sees an image of a praying mantis [yes] and they are so beautiful and weird [true]. it's a show about the world's most extreme maters [well]. i saw a female praying mantis eat the head of a male on my brother's window screen when i was about four, and my dad was there. ryan's first animal memory has to do with a frog [hmm] --a toad, to be exact [no, a galapagos turtle at the zoo that I rode on]. he's preturbed about his day yesterday [safe bet] and worried about sleeping tonight [not lately], although really he's been sleeping fine [yes], and when he gets in bed around 1am [close enough] will fall asleep within 4 minutes [nope]. his last falling-asleep image will have both a dragonfly [holy shit this is weird, I have a dragonfly mobile in my room] and a room-sized computer in it [in spirit], and someone who's supposed to be an old girlfriend [always] but looks more like this other woman from the news [yes!!!!!! I love anchorwomen, no shit].

Ryan W. said...

I just read the other ones. I actually feel creepy like I was spying on people. I don't know why but it was very easy for me to forget that I wasn't simply watching those people do those things. really I had this extreme suspension of disbelief experience. maybe I have psychological problems.

bender said...

i felt like i was spying on all of you, and i began to feel afraid that i would get some of it right, and that you would think i WAS spying on you. it was like voyeur vignettes. (pussy russian roulette).

maybe i'll do it again tomorrow. but, and maybe this is me making assumptions based on my own life (and you know what they say about people who assume--they make assumptions), i wonder if you (we) all do the same basic things every night. i might just be thinking about those of us who wind down alone and go to bed in some lazy/contemplative state each night.

i am so glad to hear about this mobile. not sure how i feel about the anchorwomen, but it might be my latent fear/disgust relating to pants suits.

bender said...

ps peter gabriel was a joke; i just wanted to see if anyone was actually reading it. i think 'so' is a good album. i won't back down.

Ryan W. said...

"i wonder if you (we) all do the same basic things every night. "

yes, good question. but that would make the exercise all the more interesting, because you would have to build in the monotony and the variations. maybe you shouldn't do it once a day... maybe just once a week. really it's a ploy to get you to provide me with an auxiliary life. I'm too lazy to play those online games where you have an auxiliary life. also I'm interested in fortune telling. I can tell fortunes with a footbag. a footbag is a generic word for hackey sack.

I have nothing against peter gabriel... I've always been curious about some of the old genesis, since Bob Pollard swears by it. tho I haven't gotten around to listening to any.

I find that thinking is one way to either make myself not do the same things every night, or to at least feel ok about it. it's when I go a few weeks or months without thinking that the monotony seems problematic. I actually like a fair amount of monotony but I do have my limits, and it's always strange when I realize, after months or years of allowing a habit to persist, that it's no longer acceptable to me.

Ryan W. said...

that was a fully considered, mostly un-mannered, and gramatically correct comment I just made. I'm not self-conscious about that... I mean, I think that's ok. just wanted to point it out.